[ They can't help the way their expression falls when he slips his hand from theirs, feeling a sensation similar to their heart dropping. Is he walking away? They wouldn't blame him, if he was, even if they have a feeling it would crush them— that's what they're thinking before they feel his palms on the sides of their face, what's left of their brows raising in surprise.
Relief. That's the immediate reaction, listening to him and feeling the familiar weight of his hands holding them. That's what they're thinking, what they're feeling. There's nothing telling them to feel that way - they just are, so it has to be real, doesn't it? Slowly, they grasp at both of his forearms, careful not to grip too hard or catch the fabric on the tips of their fingers. They just want to feel that he's there. ]
I want to be free.
[ Their voice is quiet, but sure enough to convince that this is truly what they think. They want to make their own decisions and choose what they do and where they go. It's a scary thought to have after a thousand years of being controlled, explicitly or implicitly, but they have no other choice but to feel this way. Making the choice to hold onto him, to let themself want for him to say, to let themself want him to still look at them the way he always had before - they let those desires cross their mind, uninterrupted, even if they are desperate. Not that they'll voice them— they're too unsure, and too afraid of ending up feeling like they've deceived him all this time. ]
The "real me." That's what I want. I... I'd rather stay like this than go back.
[ That much, they are certain of. No matter how muddled the rest of their thoughts are, they are sure that this was the only decision they could have made for themself. And if he wants their true opinion, a "first glimpse" at the "real them", then they'll give it to him. For once, they'd rather just say what they're feeling, rather than think too hard about how they're coming off - it's freeing in itself to speak openly like this, to unabashedly relay the thoughts coming to them. They need for him to see themself unfiltered - that's why they respond without pause, not wanting to give the impression that they are simply saying what he wants to hear. ]
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Relief. That's the immediate reaction, listening to him and feeling the familiar weight of his hands holding them. That's what they're thinking, what they're feeling. There's nothing telling them to feel that way - they just are, so it has to be real, doesn't it? Slowly, they grasp at both of his forearms, careful not to grip too hard or catch the fabric on the tips of their fingers. They just want to feel that he's there. ]
I want to be free.
[ Their voice is quiet, but sure enough to convince that this is truly what they think. They want to make their own decisions and choose what they do and where they go. It's a scary thought to have after a thousand years of being controlled, explicitly or implicitly, but they have no other choice but to feel this way. Making the choice to hold onto him, to let themself want for him to say, to let themself want him to still look at them the way he always had before - they let those desires cross their mind, uninterrupted, even if they are desperate. Not that they'll voice them— they're too unsure, and too afraid of ending up feeling like they've deceived him all this time. ]
The "real me." That's what I want. I... I'd rather stay like this than go back.
[ That much, they are certain of. No matter how muddled the rest of their thoughts are, they are sure that this was the only decision they could have made for themself. And if he wants their true opinion, a "first glimpse" at the "real them", then they'll give it to him. For once, they'd rather just say what they're feeling, rather than think too hard about how they're coming off - it's freeing in itself to speak openly like this, to unabashedly relay the thoughts coming to them. They need for him to see themself unfiltered - that's why they respond without pause, not wanting to give the impression that they are simply saying what he wants to hear. ]