[ The question gives them pause, even though they know it must be coming. It's not any easier the second time - they remember with great clarity how hard it had been for them to even answer him when he'd asked them what they wanted from him, what they wanted from this, this feeling between them. For a long, drawn out lapse, they're unmoving, eerily still while they ruminate on an answer. ]
I, [ I don't know, is what they almost say, but then shake their head. ] I don't feel different.
[ Perhaps its true that they'd always been a substitute to all the other gems - and that this discovery about their eyes renders all their relationships with gems as tarnished. Fraudulent, in one way or another, because they'd always acted in the best interest of Phos. But Lupin is far away from all of that, had always seen them for who they are; there weren't other gems around to compare them to, or to confuse them with. In fact, he's always tried to single them out. It's always been him, encouraging them to stay apart from Ghost and to choose on their own.
Even if some of their decisions before were manipulated, or otherwise compromised, they can't let go of someone like that. All their memories of him flit through their mind, like projections of their story; the well, the birds, the island, The Adventures of Robin Hood, Phos, Ghost Quartz, the palace, the greenhouse. So much between them in this short time, so much of it dedicated to escapism of some kind, from everything that held them back. What would Ghost have to do with any of that...? ]
Being someone like that, I still... [ Want to, or want to want to. A part of them aside from their lips finally moves - their face tilts just slightly away, despite having no eyes to avert. ] But— how can you trust me...?
[ It doesn't make sense for Ghost to have any part in everything they've shared, but the fact remains that they were there, somehow, and that alone is enough to cast a shadow of doubt. If they were in his shoes, they can imagine having suspicion and stress, the kind that's bleeding into his voice now. How can he even trust that they'll be that same "someone" now? They're having trouble trusting themself. ]
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I, [ I don't know, is what they almost say, but then shake their head. ] I don't feel different.
[ Perhaps its true that they'd always been a substitute to all the other gems - and that this discovery about their eyes renders all their relationships with gems as tarnished. Fraudulent, in one way or another, because they'd always acted in the best interest of Phos. But Lupin is far away from all of that, had always seen them for who they are; there weren't other gems around to compare them to, or to confuse them with. In fact, he's always tried to single them out. It's always been him, encouraging them to stay apart from Ghost and to choose on their own.
Even if some of their decisions before were manipulated, or otherwise compromised, they can't let go of someone like that. All their memories of him flit through their mind, like projections of their story; the well, the birds, the island, The Adventures of Robin Hood, Phos, Ghost Quartz, the palace, the greenhouse. So much between them in this short time, so much of it dedicated to escapism of some kind, from everything that held them back. What would Ghost have to do with any of that...? ]
Being someone like that, I still... [ Want to, or want to want to. A part of them aside from their lips finally moves - their face tilts just slightly away, despite having no eyes to avert. ] But— how can you trust me...?
[ It doesn't make sense for Ghost to have any part in everything they've shared, but the fact remains that they were there, somehow, and that alone is enough to cast a shadow of doubt. If they were in his shoes, they can imagine having suspicion and stress, the kind that's bleeding into his voice now. How can he even trust that they'll be that same "someone" now? They're having trouble trusting themself. ]